Christmas has arrived and I found my pen wondering what it would be like if our beloved Santa Claus were on the spectrum.....
AUTISTIC SANTA
“Autistic people can do anything”. Well, that’s what they say.
But if Santa were autistic, would kids still love Christmas Day?
Would children still get presents?
Sure! We hate to disappoint
Although things would be quite different
For the little girls and boys. I
f Santa gave a Ho-Ho-Ho, it would be just to himself.
He’d rather work alone, so no need for all those elves.
Ditch the bright red costume. Make it charcoal grey or khaki.
Blend into the background. Not the life and soul of parties.
Going to new places is a scary thing to do.
Where to park his magic sleigh? He wouldn’t have a clue!
Santa tracker might stay static when he’s overcome with panic
Plus IBS and winter stress from rushing round the planet.
No way he’s coming in your house; leaves presents on the drive.
Might be forced to socialise if he should step inside.
He’d be wearing dark sunglasses as he hates the festive lights
A beard would be too itchy and if Christmas turned out white
He’d be flapping, going crazy as he cannot stand the snow:
The glare, the crunch beneath his feet and the bitter cold.
If Santa were autistic, he’d read every child’s list twice
And I’m sure he’d get the job done even though he’d need more time.
Once every gift was given, he would lock himself away
Burnt out, shutdown and dizzy, just like every Christmas Day!
Wishing everyone a very Happy Christmas!! @theautisticpoet
Kommentare